I stumbled upon another artist’s website today and began slobbering over the delicious photos I saw of their studio. HUGE ceilings. Beautiful wooden floors. A space lit with the most beautiful natural light… enough space to have an entire gallery fit inside. The walls were wide, open and messy and invited creativity to fill every inch. The artist was pictured in a few of the shots and I couldn’t help but picture myself in that space. Envy crept over me immediately and that’s not a usual thing for me. I don’t agree with envy at all; the uncomfortable feeling or what it represents. In fact, it really bothers me and gets on my nerves when I feel it from others and even more so when it happens to me. Yuck. Envy is when our dreams aren’t realized in some fashion. I started feeling like it should be mine and I felt entitled. ick. 😦
The reason it happened when I saw this studio space is because it is very similar to the studio I’ve been imagining for myself for many many years. I daydream about my future studio space pretty much every day. I imagine all the room and space I would have to create and how much more productive I could be. I imagine the feeling of the space. How the light effects me and the work. I imagine meditating and having hours of solitude and peace to create anything and not have to move things around every time I wanted to paint something new. I’ve had a lot of studios over the years… and I’m still daydreaming about the one that will be most conducive for my work. The kind of space I want is pricey. Very very pricey. I get kinda grumpy when I think about not having it yet because I know it would be the best thing in the world for me and my work. It must become a reality if I want to do my best work. I really hold my studio time and space as sacred. It’s high time I made my daydream studio into a reality. Haven’t I earned that yet? Here is a list of my studios to date:
1. High school bedroom. I’d say “duh” to this, but some high school kids already have art studios outside of their home. Wow.
2. Dining room in an apartment in Providence, R.I. My roommates at RISD were always looking and watching and that made me uncomfortable. Privacy is important.
3. Shared space in a classroom in Chicago. Basically, it was SAIC’s open studios… the only solitude was if I went to paint at 2a.m. in the morning. Which I did. Yay for “no-doze”!
4. My first honest to God rented studio space. HUGE. It was a shared warehouse in Chicago with three other art students. It was COLD. It was also in the middle of a pretty rough neighborhood. My boyfriend escorted me several times until we broke up. When one of my studio mates was jumped one night, I got out. Not exactly inspiring place to work for me.
5. Have backpack, will travel. I painted in Europe and then wherever I was afterwards, wherever I could for a couple of years.
6. My aunt’s guest bedroom in San Francisco. I was there for six months and received my first commissioned painting. (Thank you, Carole!)
7. A shed in the backyard of my friend’s house in Atlanta. I took what I could get.
8. A shared space at Nexus in Atlanta (thanks to Colleen, a friend of mine that saw talent wanting to come out of me but saw I had nowhere to work. Rent was cheap and I’ll never forget that sublet of a favor.)
9. The kitchen of my attic apartment in Avondale Estates. TINY. TINYYYY. I propped up my paintings on the kitchen sink and used it as my easel. I made do.
10. The unfinished basement apartment storage area of my landlord’s home in Inman Park.
11. The living room of my apartment in Chicago.
12. The basement in my brother’s home in Knoxville, TN.
13. The dining room of a shared townhouse in Grant Park. (Bless you, Rodney!)
14. The 2nd bedroom of my apartment in Atlanta.
15. A real studio in an Avondale Estates warehouse building.
And that’s where I am. I’ve been fortunate to have the space I do. It is by far the best studio space I’ve had to date. BUT…I’ve completely outgrown it and haven’t ever gotten a studio space that I LOVE LOVE LOVE. I think I’m due. It’s time. I’ve made the best out of every studio space I have been afforded. The people who have allowed me to paint in our shared homes and spaces have been amazing and I feel humbled and grateful as I struggled for many years. But now it’s time to really have my dream studio, isn’t it? I can only imagine the beautiful work that will come from such a space… I know some artists who have multiple great studios all over the U.S. but I would be cool with just one amazing one. That would make me happy. I want a peaceful space.
In the meantime… until that place is available to me, the studio of my dreams… I will continue being grateful for the space I do have and continue creating the most beautiful pieces I can. But I’ll be putting it out there to the Universe that I’m READY for my new space, please.
Pretty pretty please. I want to make my daydream into a reality.